The post that I had written and scheduled a few days ago started like this, “You know when a child is completely 👏 resisting 👏 the nap you know they desperately need?? Welp. That's me regarding the staycation we are taking this week.”

I went on to talk about how we opt for staycations when traveling is not in the budget and shared some intentions for the week: slow starts, focused family time, exploration, fun, rest. But then…

I started talking about what I had coming this week on Instagram and the “little bit of work” I was going to sneak in. I even ended the caption with "keep an eye out for some pretty exciting things this week while I’m totally distracted,” knowing full well that simply posting these things (which *are* actually exciting), even if I scheduled them with Tailwind, would still take my time and attention away.

“But I am in the trenches of trying to grow my business. I need every spare second I can find.”

“I have so much work to do and so much riding on this that taking a week off simply isn't feasible right now.”

"How can I talk about everything on my plate and then just suddenly turn that off when I have a week at home with additional support for our kids?”

Do you see where I'm going here?

Real talk

I am well aware that now is NOT the time for me to take a week off from work. Business is slow and its lack of momentum has been heavy on my mind. I’m even launching a new service next month and taking a week off will likely push the launch even later than I intended.

But here’s the thing...

Over the last few days, I've realized that I am incredibly close to reaching a breaking point. As much as I need and want to continue moving forward with my business, I am long overdue for what this staycation can offer. But I have finally accepted I will not be able to reap the benefits if I don't go all in.

If I treat this like any other week, I will not come away from it feeling rested, with any sort of clarity, or feeling like I made the most of this time with my family. And I need them right now.

I just finished reading Tom Felton’s memoir Beyond the Wand: The Magic and Mayhem of Growing Up a Wizard and, in it, he quotes a stranger he met at what I think Tom would agree is a low point. The passage reads,

“’I’m not a wealthy man,’ he said quietly. 'I don't have much money. I don't have a big house. I don't have a fancy car. But I have my wife, and I have my children, and I have my grandchildren, and that means I am a rich man. A very rich man.’ He fixed me with a piercing stare and inclined his head a little. 'Are you a rich man?’ he asked.”

Tom went on to answer in terms of material wealth, but knew in that moment he was “not rich at all,” not like the man he was speaking to. As a small business owner trying to grow, my dreams for the future sit heavily on my shoulders most of the time. But I know that weight is on its way to becoming all-consuming. I appreciate having goals, but I also accept that I'm losing sight of everything that I already have. I will continue to work towards those goals and dreams, but I'm not interested in sacrificing my ability to witness the ✨ absolute magic ✨ that I am already surrounded by each and every day.

So it’s safe to say that this moment in the memoir has stuck with me. This week, I am not going to be working. I am not going to be posting anything else unless it’s for enjoyment. I am going to treat this as a true vacation and tell myself—out loud—that I am already a rich woman in the moments that make it true.

And I bet my voice will be hoarse by the time I come back next week...