Disclaimer: none of what I'm about to say is revolutionary; I'd rather think of it as a gentle reminder if you find yourself feeling similarly.

A few weeks ago, I was really affected by seeing someone else's success shared on social media. I won't be sharing details, but they posted about a milestone they reached and it left me feeling inadequate, behind, and... jealous. I plan on sharing a lot more about the realities of being a work-from-home-mom trying to grow a business, but spoiler alert: it's hard. And progress has to be slow moving because my time is not entirely my own. For someone like me, I struggle deeply and often with that concept.

But here's what I had to keep telling myself (on repeat, over and over and over (and over)): I don't want their life. I don't want their business. I want a taste of that success, but my own version of it. And a great first step in getting back into my own lane and focusing on my goals and my business was to restructure my approach to social media. So here are the tips I've got for myself (so far).

Consume less, create more.

I have a confession to make: shortly before coming back to Instagram for KWC, I had made the decision in my personal life to cut back on social media. Why? I don't actually have a healthy relationship with it. There. I said it. I'm someone who gets lost in endless time scrolling and feels like absolute garbage afterwards (remember how I mentioned "time" as a WFH mom?). So when you combine the amount of time I'm wasting looking at everyone else's feeds with the impact of seeing their followers, their likes, their engagement, etc., I can't help but be left feeling inadequate, behind, and... jealous. Talk about a waste of time! So now I'm setting strict parameters about when I can be on social to either be inspired or for actual engagement.

Let go of the need for perfection.

Oy. We've heard this one time and time again, but WOW is it hard to practice what you preach. I love to be inspired by the people who have found the versions of success that align with my own. But again, when I look at what I consider to be images and videos of "perfection," when I finally step back out of that space and start my own process, I can't help but feel—wow, here they come again (didn't expect this thread to weave its way through here)—inadequate, behind, and... jealous. So this has become the biggest reminder I give myself on a daily basis (and I mean daily):

I don't have time to be anyone else but me.

I'll say it again: I don't. have. time. to be anyone. else. but. me. "Me" has her 5-minute makeup and hair done and has gotten dressed most days because it is a form of centering herself. That same "Me" also starts her morning work session in sweaty workout clothes and an oversized sweatshirt, with greasy hair tied back into an actually messy bun, with the memory of makeup gently smudged under her eyes. And you know what? Sometimes, the day doesn't improve much from there. Am I working in my dream office, living in my dream home, on my dream plot of land? Nope. Does that matter? Nope. Does any of that matter? Nope.

I know I seemingly say all that with confidence, but I'm very much a work in progress. As someone with such little time to devote to this little passion of mine, I cannot spend it fretting over someone else's seemingly perfect life or letting the way my hair is curling on any given day stop me from recording a video or stressing over my messy desk in the background. None of us have time to be anyone else but who we are. And speaking of other people...

It doesn't matter what everyone else is doing.

Just because "everyone else" is doing something, that doesn't make it the industry standard. Read that again. I'm saying that to you and me. I couldn't help feeling at the start of my journey that I had to do certain things because that's what was expected of someone in my industry. The result was me overthinking every decision, feeling overwhelmed, feeling disconnected, and getting really stressed... all for a handful of likes and a couple of follows (even though I'm grateful for each and every one).

For example, there are a lot of designers on Instagram posting tips and tricks for other designers. To the other designers, love you, love watching your content, but you are not my target audience. So no, I don't have to show you the latest things I've learned in Illustrator because I'm not trying to reach you. Can I do that in the interest of positioning myself as an expert to my target audience? Sure. Does my target audience care about that? Not really. So I don't have to do it unless I want to.

The point is: someone else's style, content, lessons, you name it, none of that matters for my social media strategy. I am often inspired by other designers, but at this stage in the game, it is imperative that I stay in my own lane—I like to use a yoga reference and say, "mind your mat." There are so many people trying to make it in every industry, not just as designers. We as individuals are what set us apart in our businesses and for me, that's a huge part of my own strategy. We should own it and show up as ourselves.

There is no "right way" to do any of this.

I can't tell you how much I've been plagued by the "shoulds" and the "have tos." I think with social media in general and the dreaded algorithm, we are bombarded with all the things we "need to do" in order to make it work in our favor. And yes, there is truth to some of it, but I've learned that I can only do my best until I have the resources to improve my strategy, give it more time on a regular basis, or enlist additional help. I need to be posting to my feed every single day, with the majority of that content being reels, and post at least five times a day to my story? Oh Yeah? Not possible. Because I have humans to care for. Animals to care for. Clients to care for. A business to care for. Plus, as I told you: I don't have a healthy relationship with social. I get too distracted when I'm connected throughout the day and for me, distracted mom = less than ideal mom (I'm being kind to myself by not saying "sh*t mom"). I can only do so much. And that is okay.

Recommended does not equal required.

Not to sound like a petulant child, but we don't have to do anything a certain way. Not on social, not in business, not in life. Sometimes that means repercussions or consequences, but the statement is still true. Of course, the goal is to find a middle ground that works for our goals and feels right to us, but that's what's important: making it work for us.

Overthinking is a waste of time.

I'm not saying I plan to just throw any old thing up on Instagram; I'm working hard to create a strategy I can follow and modify as needed. But I can't tell you the number of times I re-recorded a story check-in because I stumbled over my words like a normal human being or how many hours I've spent creating a reel thinking about "what if this is the one that goes viral?" or writing a caption with all the right keywords and perfect call to action. And since I currently only have 147 followers, my engagement levels are heartbreaking after so much time spent overthinking every. last. detail. I can't do it.

So my goals for moving forward are to be inspired, trust my instincts, trust my knowledge and experience, do the damn thing, and move on. I believe in what I have to say just as you should believe in what you have to say—in your voice. We have to believe in the content we're putting out there. To own it, get it done, and trust the process.

To sum up

For a long time, I have let the opinions of others, the appearance of others' lives and businesses, and the "rules" dictate what I do and don't do. This business is a dream of mine. And while I'm mostly pursuing it because it's a passion, real talk: I'm also doing it in part because we need two incomes in our household. I wish I could say I have forever to grow this dream, but that's not the case. And if the day comes where I have to set is aside for a little while, I want to know that I showed up in a way that felt right to me. That I spent my precious time wisely. That I did all the things I've dreamt about doing since long before KWC opened it's figurative doors to the best of my ability. And that does not mean letting Instagram take over my life, my business, and my well being.

If you are reading this as a business owner trying to make sense of it all, I see you. And I want to see more of you. So I hope you are able to find what fits for your business, your audience, your strategy, and yourself, then make it happen. Figure out what's working and let go of the rest.